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You can still send a message -- it just won't show up in the recipient's inbox unless you match.
Because who doesn't enjoy sending a thoughtful message to someone who might never see it?
My recommendations for the best dating sites are based primarily on my own experiences with online dating sites as a woman, with some word-of-mouth impressions from friends thrown in for good measure. Because that's the one thing my love life was really missing... The timer is designed to encourage contact, and some people really do appreciate that feature.
You'll need to wade through a sea of profiles, which makes it easy to pass over people you might have given a chance under different circumstances. I have friends who've met spouses through Ok Cupid. In fact, I've been on Ok Cupid, on and off, for roughly the last 11 years.
However, I found the app confusing to use, with too many features and too many gimmicks.
I shouldn't have to look up online tutorials to figure out how to use a dating app. I was also disappointed in the notifications, which I found too pushy.
Bumble also has a BFF feature, but that's really not the focus of a dating app gallery, so I'll save it for another time.
Whether you're looking for a hookup or an LTR (long-term relationship), Tinder has you covered.