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"This is all from my point of view and the things that I was going through.
A lot of people do have relationship issues and they can't find their voice.
Those things just kind of built off each other." Beard started drinking in high school, when she hated her looks and felt unlovable.
Adding to her burden was a case of mild dyslexia that made her cry daily and led to grades of Cs and Ds.
(AP) Amanda Beard is happily married and a proud mom, finally at peace after years of struggling at various times with depression, bulimia, drug abuse and toxic relationships with famous men while feeling unworthy of the swimming success that made her an Olympic medalist at 14.
"It was definitely a snowball effect," she said Thursday from New York where she was promoting the book.
Normal for most girls, it was disastrous for a swimmer.
Her body's changes made her slower in the water and she lost races, generating whispers on the pool deck and the horrible feeling that she was letting people down.
She writes that their yearlong relationship was mostly one-way, with Beard following him from track to track and Edwards paying little attention to anything in her life.
"I don't know if I'll hear from them," Beard said about her famous exes.