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Some prisoners have reported purposely breaking prison rules to bump up their security level — this, in turn, requires all visitors of that person to be “non-contact,” affording them and their partner the privacy of a glass partitioned phone booth where couples can perform for each other and masturbate.

But the vast majority of the couples I’ve spoken with tend to play by the rules.

How often do we get to feel that what we say to someone is the most interesting thing in someone else’s life — the best part of their day?

People in relationships with prisoners say they experience that feeling regularly.

These bills include exorbitantly priced collect phone calls; email and video messaging (internet access must be paid for); money for commissary accounts; plane tickets, rental cars, and gas for their loved ones to travel to the far-flung rural outposts where many prisons are situated; hotel rooms to visit for a few days at a time after making the journey; bills to feed into the vending machine at visits; and prison-approved outfits to satisfy byzantine regulations (no jeans, no leggings, in some prisons).Jo looks forward to her twice-yearly hugs with glee.At Ben’s security level, it’s all the couple is afforded: an embrace at the beginning and end of each visit.” Jo and Ben got to know each other through a year of letter writing, phone calls, and emails before ever meeting face to face, like a modern-day Heloise and Abelard.They emphasize and prioritize communication, because communication is really all they have.

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