Maybe they tell you that you look great in a dress that in truth is not the best style for you.Maybe they agree that your point of view in an argument when in fact they do not think you are being reasonable.Or they encourage you to make friends with someone who is influential when you don’t really enjoy the person, telling you that that person is a great friend when it’s not true. She’ll be a good friend to you.” There are also many different ways of invalidating. Blaming: “You always have to be the crybaby, always upset about something and ruin every holiday.” “Why didn’t you put gas in the car before you got home?You never think and always make everything harder.” Blaming is always invalidating.You know–the whole reason you have professional liability insurance in the first place!Melissa Dewey Brumback, who blogs at NC.com, is an attorney at Ragsdale Liggett in Raleigh, North Carolina, where she represents architects and engineers in risk avoidance, contract negotiation, and construction litigation.It’s like saying they know you as well as you know you, so they don’t ask, they assume, and may even tell how you think and feel.
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Saying someone did a great job when they didn’t or that your friends loved them when they didn’t is hoovering.
Not acknowledging how difficult something might be for you to do is hoovering.