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I lived in a cement basement that, for some reason, I had painted yellow. Afterward, we had wine with some of his straight friends. Twenty years after becoming successful, what did it feel like now?

I think it’s what makes gay men so beautiful but also troubling.

I guess if we were completely self-assured, we would just be straight men who had sex with men.

I never would have gotten to follow Laura Dern around a garden tour of Los Angeles's Venice neighborhood if I hadn’t dated older men. I didn’t say “hi” to her, but now I think I would have. When I finally saw his house and his life, I could understand how getting caught sucking dick at a party with mostly Tecate being served would be appealing, or at least a change of pace. His ceilings must have been 30 feet high, and his parties had bartenders.

I was 21 and vaguely dating a 50-year-old guy I had met through friends. When he invited me over the day of the garden tour, I think I not so subtly asked him what his parents did, because I couldn’t believe someone could have this home without family money.

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