Handle intimidating people
In addition, an aggressor may want to control the length of a meeting to her advantage, making it either excessively long to wear you down, or abruptly short to cut you off. Making You Wait Someone who deliberately makes you wait before you get to see him or her is utilizing a classic form of power play.
The message here is that his time is more important than yours, and by inference he’s more important than you. Power Differential in Furniture Set-Up This usually happens when you enter someone’s deliberately set-up power office, where she or he sits in a larger, adjustable “executive” chair, while you are given a smaller and sometimes unadjustable seat.
The consequences may include (and are not limited) to those that are emotional, social, psychological, physical, professional, informational, financial, and legal. is available as a presenter, workshop facilitator, and private coach. I always assumed the brought them from home, as no company in their right mind would justify buying a chair that looked like a swiveling emperor throne.
If you find yourself dealing with a difficult individual, there are many strategies and skills you can utilize to help restore balance and respect. For more information, write to [email protected], or visit Yet, any office visitor has to sit on a folding chair and take notes on their lap because every available space on the boss's desk is taken up with awards and unused desk calendars. The bigger the chair and the bigger the office, the bigger the ego-maniac.
At worst, the strength in numbers tactic may be used for direct or indirect bullying or harassment. Uncomfortable Formality Some individuals like to deliberately make you feel uncomfortable and put you on the defensive by making the physical environment, their attire, their speech, and/or the proceeding uncomfortably formal.
The more attached (especially emotionally) the recipient is to the situation, the more likely this type of coercion can succeed. Negative Humor Designed to Poke at Your Weaknesses and Disempower You Some aggressors like to make critical remarks, often disguised as humor, to make you seem inferior and less secure.
In my book (click on title): “How to Successfully Handle Aggressive, Intimidating, and Controlling People” you'll learn how to maintain composure, ways to be proactive instead of reactive, fifteen powerful strategies to disarm controlling tactics, eight ways to say “no” diplomatically but firmly, and seven types of power you can utilize to compel cooperation. One boss I worked for ran a very small company - about 20 people. I have experienced many of these techniques as the daughter of a hyper-controlling, domineering, personality-disordered mother and from a few (thankfully only a few) bosses I've had.
Also available: (click on titles): “How to Let Go of Negative Thoughts and Emotions” Follow me on Twitter, Facebook, and Linked In! Most people were crammed into inadequate little rooms and little desks, while the king had a gigantic office, desk, and chair. Understanding that these are techniques can help you to withstand them, but if you are in the position of being dependent on the person utilizing these domineering techniques, you're pretty much screwed.
Not everyone who acts in the following manners may be deliberately trying to control you. Regardless, it’s important to recognize these behaviors in situations where your rights, interests and safety are at stake. Home Court and Time Dominance An aggressive and controlling person may insist on you meeting and interacting in a physical space where he or she can exercise more dominance and control.
This can be the aggressor’s office, home, car, or other spaces where she feels ownership and familiarity (and where you lack them).