Dating service for people with hiv
The positive result almost didn't compute at first.
I kept asking the nurse who took me upstairs at the Margaret Sanger Center in the East Village for a second blood test to confirm the rapid test result.
The only bad thing about breaking up with Matt was the realization that I would have to start dating again.
But when you're the kind of person who equates dating with dinners, drinks, and casual sex, HIV can put a real damper on all that. Not only was I still trying to figure out what living with HIV meant, I couldn't just do that whole "put on your high heels and get back out there" thing that most newly single people do.
But one day, randomly, I added the HIV rapid test to the list of things to do before intake to my pap smear appointment.
I thought it was a formality I should finally take care of.
That I could go on bad Tinder dates and laugh about them at brunch with my friends, get set up with friends, and pick up a guy when I was out for the night, just like everyone else.
Not disclosing my status at first led to a lot of heartache and unnecessary hurt for both me and my partners when I eventually give them the "bad news." The 'bad news' was less about their risk of getting HIV and more about how I had deceived them, which is not an especially attractive quality in a mate.
I was living in New York City with a boyfriend I'll call Matt when I was diagnosed with HIV. It was my first steady, long-term relationship, and we did what I used to think of as "grown-up" things.I was in shock that simply sleeping with probably close to a hundred men throughout my 20s — in college, in Rome, Italy where I lived for five years, in New York City upon my return — and not being strict about using condoms could have such a serious consequence.I grew up during the HIV/AIDS crisis and should have known better, but as a heterosexual woman, I equated safe sex with not getting pregnant more than with getting an STI, let alone HIV. It's embarrassing to admit that now, but I really did ignorantly think sex was all fun and games.grown up, because I had never even been tested for HIV at my yearly checkup at Planned Parenthood, where I went for primary care.Taking care of your health is more adult than playing house with a boyfriend, yet, even though I had been tested for STIs, I had never thought of getting an HIV test.